Too many years of regimented inactivity have imprinted themselves on my physiology and my psychology. How to break this? How to circumnavigate what has - for lack of a more elegant term - become a seemingly inoperable case of Couch Brain? I have a few thoughts.
- Sell couch; replace with Pilates reformer. This is good for a couple of reasons. I could no longer lay on my couch, smiling happily as I sip on Fresca and nod knowingly at the subtle wit that is New Yorker magazine cartoon humor. Instead, I'd have to get some kind of stretchy, muscle-building workout if I was going to occupy that same space. Problem is, I don't know how to do Pilates.
- Move my couch to the top of the Exorcist stairs in Georgetown. That way, whenever I wanted to chill out, I'd have to get in a bit of a cardio workout in order even to sit down. Problem is, other people would probably want to chill out on my couch, too. And getting it there in the first place would pose a challenge.
- Undergo hypnotherapy to replace the word "couch" with "gym" in my brain. This might be the best solution of the three. Like instead of my old way of thinking I would now think, I shall go home and chill out on the gym tonight. Okay, so the prepositions might not translate exactly, and I couldn't exactly use the word as a verb anymore (Her request was "gymed" in respectful language? I think not.), but I'm beginning to like this one more...