Showing posts with label woman parts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woman parts. Show all posts

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Downward Spiral...er, Dog, I mean

Hunching over my desk last Friday, I couldn't take it any more. My shoulders were burning, my neck was stiff, and my upper back felt like it was petrifying. Sure, I just turned 30, but does that mean I have to turn into a cubicle-dwelling desk troll, permanently wearing the scars of my slavish devotion to a computing machine? Surely not.

I did what any normal out-of-shape person would do in this situation: I let somebody else do the work for me, opting for a quick 15 minute chair massage. Although I felt better afterward, I realized I had just dropped $20 bucks (including the tip) for a quick fix. For that same amount of money, I could engage in two sessions' worth of something I haven't done in ages: yoga.

I'll admit: I was a scrawny, skeptical Midwestern gal when I first gave the "New Age-y" concept of yoga the old college try - literally - when I was an undergrad. And I got hooked, for years. At one point, in fact, I could do inversions and headstands with the greatest of ease.

My favorite instructor was a uber-petite Asian gal who was literally half my size. Yet I'll never forget when she caught and held me during my first back bend. Her small frame was strong and powerful and I wanted that, too. Well, except for the small frame part. That had already been sorta predetermined by genetics.

I practiced yoga for years, probably nearly a decade, and then - like so many other things that we know are good for us but fall by the wayside - I just up and stopped. The cool thing about yoga, though, is that is stays in your muscle memory for a loooong time. To this day I can flop over and touch my toes with zero effort. Cool, right?

So in keeping with my generally feeble attempts at physical self improvement, I'm going to start taking beginning yoga classes again. I must humble myself before the asanas and realize that I'm no longer the limber 20-something I once was. Nor will I ever be a "yoga champion" like Kyoko Katsura, above, who recently won the women’s division of the first New York Regional Yoga Championship.

But... This Sunday shall mark my triumphant return to the yoga studio. And the peasant's rejoice! Or - at the very least - I won't make a fool of myself. I think a hour or two on the mat each week will probably keep me out of the chair; the massage therapist's chair, that is. My careful (read: quick) cost benefit analysis confirms this. So does my back, which is already starting to ache again.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Why I'm Not Friends With Girls

Periodically, I like to declare publicly that I'm not one to strike up friendships with other chicks. Now that is of course not really true, seeing as how I have many gals with whom I enjoy close friendships. But the running joke is that chicks are too difficult and whiny and all emotional and fickle and, you know, just too girly for me to take the time to deal with all of their needs, let alone mine. Friendships are supposed to be enjoyable things, not one-sided conversations on how wretched, yet terribly important and utterly fascinating one's life is with regards to a shade of nail polish.

This even extends into the virtual world. Very seldom do I take the time to really truly follow another gal's blog. Yeah, sure, I'll check in periodically, or when I know they've written about something of interest, but there's this one fellow female blogger whose postings I read all. the. time.

Dunno why, because half of them are really crappy (trust me - she won't mind me saying that), but they're compelling nonetheless. None more so than today's diatribe on Why I'll Never Be Fat. If you look beyond the cursing and the obtuse pop culture references, you'll see why I like this particular posting so much. "Look! It's a woman who has a healthy body image and knows she wants to stay that way! And she's not going to punish herself or use extreme, dangerous, or chemically enhanced measures to maintain that attitude! She's happy that her body works well and she encourages others to challenge themselves physically!"

Just who does she think she is, anyway? A guy? So, Marissa, you're my new happy body attitude hero and I hope to take a li'l bit o' Zen away from your post today. And then pack it up with me when I hop on my bike the next time.

Oh, and if you're having trouble putting down that fast food today, dear readers, this might just make you think twice...


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sartorial Soulmate

Allow me a brief detour from the usual, dear readers, so that I might indulge in a shameless plug for my Sartorial Soulmate. What is a Sartorial Soulmate? Well, for me, it's the designer against who I judge all others; a man for whom classic American style is an adjective, not a noun; the person who embodies living life joyously and fashionably. Oh, and we share the same birthday. And both of us are hitting major birthday milestones this year.

I'm speaking, of course, about Ralph Lauren. Say what you will about the omnipresent polo pony embroidery (overkill, for sure), but this man knows how to dress, and knows how to dress others. I mean, look at him! Classicly cool in denim at the end of a S/S10 runway show that featured the sublime shimmery confections on either side (those are overall straps on the right one, natch) and a the evocation of 20's and 30's glamour with a strong nod to menswear-inspired tailoring.

Why else do I love Ralph so much? Let's go down the list:
  • Range of sizes from 0P to 22W for the gals and Big & Tall for the guys
  • Range of price points from JC Penney's "American Living" line to Rugby to RRL to the Black Label Collection
  • Range of body types and colors in his advertisements and runway shows (I heart Chanel Iman, btw. She's shown twice below!)
  • Knowing what REAL people want in their clothing: Argentine polo player Nacho Figueras is the latest in a long line of beautiful people to sport the iconic Pony Shirt
So yeah, I have a major fashion crush on Ralph and his empire, but who can blame me?

Let me be the first to say Happy Early 70th Birthday to Ralph Rueben Lifshitz (yes, that's his real name). You don't look a day over 60! Thanks for the memories and I hope you keep designing for another decade. I can only hope I'll look that good in 40 years...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Some New Kicks, Yo

How's a girl supposed to get her walk/jog on in beat up old New Balance tennies, pray tell? She is not supposed to, that's what. So today, I took a lunch hour trek (a veritable luxury to me, considering I once worked at the corner of Nothing St. and Nowhere Ave.) to Pacers Running Store, one of those local businesses that you're so very, very lucky if you have available in your neighborhood.

Now, I know I have large feet. Heck, I have a large frame, a big head, the whole nine yards. I take no offense; this is simply the way things are and the way they shall always be. But I wasn't quite prepared for the shoes I was to eventually to be fitting in - the Big Ones. Let me explain...

I have worn a size eleven shoe for just about as long as I can remember. There was that one pair of size ten Doc Martens that I held on to for way too long (on both stylistic and anatomical grounds), but other than that, I was a straight-up eleven by age nineteen. And then I went back to working retail full-time again in my mid-20's and people said, "Oh, if you spend that many hours on your feet, they'll get bigger," and I laughed and thought, Whatever, you people don't know what you're talking about - you sell clothes for a living (duh, what was I doing for a living?) and then...size twelve. Like, almost all the time. I can swing a
size 42 if I'm buying European shoes (11 1/2 - delightful!), but just like that, I went up a size.



And, with full knowledge of this, the lovely salesclerk didn't even measure my feet today, but saw that I walked in with a pair of size eleven MEN'S running shoes on my feet, yet dutifully attempted to fit a pair of women's size 12. Twice. No go. But the third pair - a men's size eleven (shown actual size, above) - fit just right and provided the proper amount of support my super-pronating right foot desperately needs.

So here I am again, with a seemingly ginormous pair of running shoes straight out the box. C'est la vie...


Monday, April 20, 2009

The Play's the Thing

So...I was part of the cast of the Vagina Monologues this weekend. I know! All girl stuff and whatnot and hoo-ha. But actually, not really. This production was mercifully free of any touchy-feely girly nonsense and more focused on the cause - namely, the prevention of violence against women. Eve Ensler's vday.org is celebrating ten years (I was there for the first one!) and it's an honor and a privelege to be a part of this movement.

Also...I had to let go of any body issues and just get on the stage and play my part. Ugh. It wasn't easy! I was easily five inches taller and probably 50 pounds heavier than the next cast-mate. But you know what? It was all good. I found a fabulous red/pink costume and acted my heart out. I haven't been on stage in the nearly two years since my departure from ComedySportz, yet I felt just as home under the klieg lights as I ever had.

In the meantime, I'm prepping for a new job on Monday (details forthcoming) and happy that said job has an on-site gym. Will keep you posted...