Let me illustrate with this highly scientific graph:
As you can see, I started out at a normal, Dove-y weight, sometime around high school. In college I did that thing you do where you exercise too much and just eat low-fat cereal in the dining hall but don't really have a real eating disorder thing, and I had a bit of the ol' lollipop head occurring. Next up came the usual, I-have-a-real-job stress and junk food eating.
Then I just got fat. Just like that. I quit exercising. I started eating an entire pizza for a single meal, and I took that Biblical thing about water in to wine way too literally. Yum! But not really...
So I'm ready to change. And you are invited along for the ride. It's going to be tremendously exciting! Full of vim and vigor and boring stuff about calories and lots of humor and cats and those STUPID designer pants I spent way too much money on, but gosh darn it I'm going to fit into them if it's the last thing I do. Oh, and run on sentences. Lots of run on sentences.
Are you ready? 'Cause I am. Ha. Ha.